Resilience

“No matter how far life pushes you down, no matter how much you hurt, you can always bounce back.”--Sheryl Swoopes, All star basketball player, Olympic Gold Medalist

Do you ever just like the sound of a word? Resilience is a word I’ve always liked. According to the English Dictionary it means, “The ability of a substance or object to return to its original shape after being bent, stretched, or pressed.” The ability to bounce back. Psychologically the term resilience means ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy; the ability to recover emotionally.

My first memory of hearing and using the word resilience was long ago when I was in my early twenties and worked in a department store selling cosmetics. “Resilience” was stated as a benefit of using one of the nail products that I sold at the time. Most of us think we need nail hardeners so that fingernails will be hard and grow long. Actually nails that are too hard will break, sometimes deep into the nail bed which can be painful. Nails that are too soft will split or tear. What’s desirable are nails that are resilient—flexible enough to bend slightly under pressure and bounce back into shape without breaking or tearing.

Resilient. I liked the sound of the word. It seemed to resonate with something inside me. I knew it was important. I also liked the analogy of being resilient, being able to bounce back after pressure. The word has always meant strength to me. A type of strength that bends flexes and remains intact.

Resilience is a quality that we need these days. With the economy, unemployment and business climate many of us are dealing with multiple changes, career disappointments and financial setbacks. Add to that the challenges that come along in life such as illness, death of loved ones, divorce, job loss, family crisis’s, and the multitude of things that stress and worry us and we all have situations we need to bounce back from.

Some people seem to take whatever life throws at them and bounce back quickly and easily while others seem devastated at every new predicament.  What’s the difference? What qualities help us to bounce back more quickly?

The next few blog posts will focus on how we develop resilience.

What are your thoughts on resilience?

Passion

pas·sion:

• · a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music
• · The object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day! It’s great to share your life with someone you love. It’s also great to spend your life doing work that you love. Work that you are passionate about.

But what if the job you’re in right now no longer excites you? Thank back to the way you felt when you first started. What about the job excited you then? How has that changed? How have YOU changed?

Experts tell us that if you want to identify your passion to think of what activity or work project you do where you lose track of time. Where you forget to eat. What activity do you get lost in? Chances are that this type activity or project is (or is at least connected to) your passion.

Recently I was looking at my own business of speaking, training and writing. I realized that in the past few years, during which I had a major life-changing personal tragedy, I’d lost the passion for my work. As I re-evaluated my work life I noticed that when some projects came along I jumped right in while other projects waited. I thought about what those projects had in common. All of them involved writing. It was easy to see that I am now more passionate about writing than other aspects of my business. Then the writing often renews my desire to speak or conduct training programs. It was easy to make slight adjustments to my business to focus more on writing and get more projects that were writing based. The result is that I’m now more excited and passionate about my business than I have been in years.

What adjustments can you make to your business or job that will reignite your passion?

Brighten the corner where you are!

Growing up in church, I remember singing this song as a child. It was quite popular with the children’s choir. Written by Ina D. Ogdon in 1913 the lyrics say, “Do not wait until some deed of greatness you may do, Do not wait to shed your light afar, To the many duties ever near you now be true, Brighten the corner where you are.” This simple chorus came to mind as I thought about how we shine in our work and life.

I first started training about twenty years ago when I worked for a Fortune 500 cosmetics company and conducted training programs for the people who sold our products in major department stores throughout the southeastern United States. Often after the program was over someone would wait until the room had cleared out and come up to ask me how they, too, could become a trainer. Most spoke of how they longed to do something they found more meaningful than retail sales and they thought training was something they would like. I always tried to encourage them as I had come from retail sales and the same job they were currently doing. I always started by telling them to work toward being the best at their current job. I remember clearly one woman responding with a “Humpf!”as though that was a dumbest thing she’d heard. What I knew was that her current job was the best place to prepare for her next job, whatever that would be. The retail sales position she’d obviously grown tired of was exactly where she could build the track record of high sales, learn the industry, build relationships with company representatives and store managers, and develop a reputation for being dependable, enthusiastic and promotable. With the right attitude and focus her current job could offer her the opportunities she was looking for. She clearly didn’t see it.

Still, as I speak for companies and conferences I’m often asked about how to get into speaking or writing. I’m always happy to offer advice. And it always involves starting right where you are. What can you learn from your current job? What can you learn about the industry? About business in general? About the skill you want to develop? About relationships with people? What contacts can you make? And more importantly, what can you learn about yourself? How can you shine right where you are?

I’m certainly not a proponent of staying in a job you don’t like or where you are not a good fit. Personally I have had many jobs in various industries over the years. Some I’ve loved, some I have loathed. In all I have learned. I get bored easily but have learned that even in jobs that I found dull if I focused on learning something I could make it a training ground for my next move, either with the company or in another one. Learning and looking for new skills to develop and new ways to use what I was already doing kept me interested and engaged until I figured out what that next move would be.

Wherever you want to go, whether it’s a promotion with your current company or a completely different industry or a different field, you have to start right where you are. Don’t postpone being your best. Start today by brightening the corner where you are!

Shine!

“This year let yourself be the woman you were meant to be. She is confident, creative and capable. She is beautiful inside and out. She has dreams and desires and the determination to make them happen. She is inspired and she inspires. She is loving and loved. Everyone whose life she touches feels valued by her. You know this woman. She is the real you. You’ve seen glimpses of her in your mirror. You’ve sensed her in a proud moment. Now, go ahead and let her shine.”

--From Woman’s World Magazine 12/28/04

This quote means a lot to me. I first saw it in the magazine then later found it posted on Mama’s bedroom wall. I love inspirational quotes, poetry and reading and as we say in the south, I ‘come by it honest.’ Actually, I don’t really understand that saying either but I know it means that I inherited it from my mama.

At 76 years old she is still reminding herself to shine! Why? Because she wants to make a positive impact on the people she sees and she sees literally hundreds of people every day. Mama works full-time as a grocery store cashier. She has held a variety of jobs over her lifetime and several years ago when she found herself out of work she was inspired to apply to this store. They hired her that day and it was a perfect fit!

She’s gregarious and very extroverted so she loves being with people. All day long she talks to one person after another. She dresses in bright colors, styles her hair and wears makeup. She wears big, interesting jewelry and wears something special for any holiday. A spider pin for Halloween, turkey necklace for Thanksgiving and a wide assortment of Christmas jewelry from then until the New Year which, of course, calls for sequins. For other people it may be jewelry but for her it’s a conversation starter. People comment on her clothes, accessories and cheerful attitude. When other checkout lines are empty or have few customers, Mama’s line is full. Yes! Hard to believe but even in this day and time people CHOOSE to wait in line just to see Mama or “go through her line” as they say. Why? Because she makes them feel good.

With a twinkle in her eye, a kind word or a clever comment she reaches out to people to spread a little joy. “I feel like it’s a ministry,” she says. “Some people live alone and need someone to talk to; others may be having a bad day or a difficult time and just need a little kindness. If I can help make their day a little brighter then they feel better when they walk out the door to live their lives and hopefully they’ll take some joy along to the people they encounter.” This attitude serves Mama well. Customers often bring her gifts and send notes in addition to telling her that it’s a joy to come through her line. If she’s off for a few days customers ask about her and tell her they missed her when she returns. No wonder she loves her work!

People keep asking when she’ll retire. She never plans to. Yes, she could manage financially and not have a schedule to keep but she would miss the people. And her work has such purpose. Scanning groceries? Sure most people could do that. Some stores even have self-scanning machines where customers can check out all by themselves. Her job may be to scan items and handle the financial transactions but her purpose is to spread a little joy.

Imagine what the world would be like if the people you come across each day could truly shine! The light of who you were meant to be is already in you. It shows up in your dreams, desires, interests and natural abilities. Letting your light shine isn’t so much about ‘doing’ as it is about ‘being.” Being who you are and finding work and relationships that allow you to excel.

This new year, let’s all just SHINE!

New Beginnings

I love new beginnings, especially the first of each year. It feels like a clean slate, a fresh start, a blank page. It’s a chance to review the past year, acknowledge my accomplishments and be grateful for all the blessings. Also it’s a time to look at the past challenges and mistakes to learn from them then let them go. It’s a whole New Year!

I no longer make New Year’s resolutions. They are often too ambitious and not well planned. They can be discouraging, especially if you can’t keep them even for a few months. I prefer New Year planning. With a plan rather than a resolution you can build in short term goals to satisfy the instant gratification need. That way you can check some things off as successes without having to wait a whole year to see if you kept your resolution. A plan is flexible. You can adjust, revise and make changes as you go along so that it’s always current and interesting.

The best thing about a New Year is that it’s the beginning of 365 new beginnings! Each day you can start anew. As I write about New Years and new beginnings, it’s February 10th, Not New Year’s Day but still a new beginning. For me it’s the beginning of a new blog, a part of my New Year plan. It’s the start of something new and a brand-new day to enjoy.

In a condo in Durham, NC where my husband and I frequently stay, the following quote is framed in the bathroom, right next to the mirror. (A good place for a focusing thought!)

“Each day is a new beginning…Another chance to learn more about ourselves, to care more about others, to laugh more than we did, to accomplish more than we thought we could, to be more than we were before.” –Anonymous